ZombieTank - Part 2

After my previous blog, a few of my friends asked why I didn't finish the story of the night ZombieTank came to disturbing movie night. Ladies and Gents, the time has come.

Zombie tank is sitting on the couch when a my next guest arrives, and to keep providing the anonymity we all love, I will simply call him D. ZombieTank decides he needs to get D's opinion on the matter of how long you could logically survive in a zombie tank and D is on the same page as I am. A few times we shared a glance and shook our head in disbelief. The next notion ZombieTank has is to get in a submarine, cause he thinks that's logical and fun to do for 5-7 years. At this point, I really can't take anymore. I get up and walk over to my book shelf and all but throw The Zombie Survival Guide at this guys head. He looks at it, thumbs through it, and then sets it on the coffee table. At this point, I am outraged. But I keep my mouth shut to see where this is going because, lets face it..it led to a pretty fun story.

In enters my other friends, S, who immediately says "Dude, I'm sorry I'm late, I lost track of time horseback riding". And I immediately feel bad for S because the only empty seat is right next to ZombieTank so she has to tolerate this. In the meantime, the conversation is --you guessed it-- all about the zombie apocalypse and how a tank is the logical way to get out of this, no matter how many times, D, S, Max Brooks and I prove him wrong.

In hopes of shutting this guy the fuck up, I suggest we pick the movie and watch it. D had brought 2 selections, Salo and Antichrist. S, D and I choose Antichrist, and Zombietank is STILL talking -- more to himself at this point -- about tanks, submarines and zombies and his 'course of action'. He is also oblivious to the many eye rolls thrown in his direction.

If you've never had the pleasure of seeing Antichrist, it begins with a sex scene in which Willem Dafoe's ass is pretty well on display. While S, D, and I laugh over this, ZombieTank is very uncomfortable. He lasts about a half hour maybe and then says "omg.. did you say you were around horses today" and S replies.. "well yeah.." and he says "I'm highly allergic" -after sitting next to her for an hour-- "I'm gonna have to take off", and mad dashes out the door.

I look at S and say "thank you for loving horses".

This story is retold between the 3 of us almost every Sunday night and we laugh a little harder each time.

3 days later....ZombieTank calls apologizing saying how his allergies were acting up so bad and he couldn't take it and had no response when I asked why it took an hour for his allergies to kick in. He then said that 'the ugly dudes ass on your tv freaked me out' to which I respond 'you couldn't have texted all of this?'